Sharpie'd My Pumas
Helmet head, weakling, ceramics, not the shittiest gym, a few books
I just took a pair of scissors and trimmed some fur off the top of our dog’s head, which was looking a lot like a helmet. Oliver said that now he looks like Jerry Seinfeld in the episode where he has low water pressure.
I’ve been writing but in the manner of a weakling. No stamina, no strength.
There’s this arrogant nerd who keeps showing up no matter what I’m working on. He drives a bullet-shaped maroon van with an Area 51 Authorized Vehicle bumper sticker and would flick me on the forehead right now.
I started going to a ceramics studio. In middle school I made a green ceramic tennis shoe with checkerboard midsoles (exact replica of mine at the time; I was just getting into pop punk and ska and Sharpie’d my Pumas). That was the extent of my experience until a couple of months ago. I’m now pretty good on the wheel and I’m seeing how it goes with hand building. Look at this.
I feel complete and total calm when I’m there. I feel like a small bowl of water. I don’t need anything and I don’t need to rush. It feels huge and I’m not missing that it means something, including that there are other things out there that I have yet to love.
My aunt from Michigan sent me a Valentine about Little Jack Horner, known pervert. This is the aunt who was taking art history classes at a community college when I was working for Jeff Koons. I asked him if he’d sign a Christmas card for her and he did one better by grabbing a silver marker and quickly sketching a little landscape. I sent it to her and she was moved, but not excessively. Everyone was well-behaved.
I joined a gym. Not a good one but not the shittiest possible either (which I’ve done). Here’s what I’ve seen:
Old people fighting in the pool
Old bare asses sitting directly on locker room benches
Men lifting in khakis
An instructor’s anger when I asked a (simple, normal) question
Extreme misuse of machines
Let’s Make a Deal
Pivoting quickly to favorite books I’ve read so far this year:
Aug 9 - Fog by Kathryn Scanlan (Perfect jewel)
Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill (Arrived late to this and wow!)
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata (I’m jealous)
Thanks for waiting, thanks for reading.
“I feel complete and total calm when I’m there. I feel like a small bowl of water. I don’t need anything and I don’t need to rush.”
That sounds so peaceful — like settling into yourself without needing more. A quiet kind of fullness, just being as you are.
Perfect morning read. The gym benches really sent me.